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Top 10 Reasons the World Will Not End in the Year 2000

Week of

10. 2000 is not the next millenium, 2001 is.
If there's one thing that pisses me off about sign-toting, fanatic doom-sayers, it's the fact that they can't even get the year right. A lot of people already figured this out, so I won't ramble.
9. The world didn't end in 1000, what makes 2000 so special.
There was a first millenium already. The second one is probably even easier to get through.
8. M&M's are the official spokes candy of the new millenium.
M&M's are the protectors of all that is good in this world. They are sure to safely carry us through to safety with there mighty chocolate and peanut powers. I have no affiliation with the Mars Corporation, in fact, they hate me.
7. I deserve to get a senior driver's licence.
I won't get my senior driver's licence until October 2000. I guess if the world ended in November 2000, that would be fine with me, though.
6. Daikatana won't be out yet.
We can't let all these poor Daikatana fans travel to the afterlife empty handed. Then again, anyone stupid enough to think Daikatana will be out any time before the year 3000 should be shot.
5. There are still 2 more Star Wars movies to go.
I know a lot of people didn't like Episode 1, but I still can't wait for Episodes 2 and 3, and 2 won't be out until 2002!
3. The Y2K problem was solved.
The Y2K problem, which wasn't a huge problem to begin with, has been ultimately solved. There are still a few people left that would love to charge you money to "fix" your computer, though. Oh, wait, I forgot that if my spread sheet program marks down incorrect dates, my heart stops.
2. Ancient Psychics May Have Been on Crack.
All these "prophecies" about the apocalypse make me want to hit myself with a frying pan and jump out a 7th story window into a swimming pool filled with copies of Riven. Sure, some of these guys made a lot of predictions that "came true". They also made a lot of predictions that were metaphorical and not very specific. You will die in the year 2000 unless you choose to live.